As your career clarity coach, I listen intently to your story. The words you choose, your tone of voice and the impact on your level of confidence. The way you talk to yourself can empower you to manifest your heart’s desire or sabotage your success. Learn how to manifest your heart’s desire in five powerful steps and create a life and career in which you thrive.
Step 1 Notice Your Negative Self-Talk
In a recent coaching conversation, my client (let’s call her Susi) was feeling frustrated. “I should be able to speak up in meetings at work, but instead I sit there and listen. Why can’t I just say what’s on my mind?” Once I had acknowledged listening as one of Susi’s greatest strengths, I got curious: “I’m hearing a ‘should’ around speaking up. What’s that about?”
Notice where in your life you hear your inner voice saying: “I should.” How are you internally scolding yourself? Here are a few other sneaky expressions that undermine your power:
“Why can’t I …?”
“I have to …”
“I never…”
“When will I ever…?”
Jot down your own internal negative dialogue. As you become aware of how you tend to self-sabotage, you take the first step towards positive transformation.
Step 2 Connect with Your Heart’s Desire
After pausing for a moment, Susi said: “Well, I really want to make a difference at work. I feel that I have important insights to share. When I am not sharing my insights, my ideas don’t have a chance to be implemented. Instead decisions are heavily influenced by people who talk a lot, even though their ideas are not really moving the company forward.”
“What do you truly want, Susi?” I asked. After a moment of silence, Susi said: “I want to make a difference. I want to contribute with my ideas.”
Use your negative self-talk to discover your resolve. Ask yourself: “What do I truly want?” Then, notice your own heart’s desire and write it down. Your heart’s desire may be related to your negative self-talk or completely unrelated.
For example, another client, let’s call her Beth, was saying to herself “I should have finished my university degree.” When we tapped into Beth’s heart’s desire, she realized that she wanted to start her own business. Once Beth connected to her heart’s desire, she was able to let go of her regrets about not completing her degree. This profound shift freed Beth to focus her energy on starting her new venture.
It can be challenging to hear your heart’s desire, especially when your negative self-talk is dominant. There may also be many seemingly conflicting desires within you. You don’t have to do this alone. Book your free career clarity consultation so that I may support you in finding your truth.
Step 3 Playfully Explore Possibilities to Manifest Your Heart’s Desire
I asked Susi: “What would it bring to you if you made a difference at work and contributed with your ideas?” Susi responded: “I would feel a lot more confident. I would feel a greater sense of purpose.”
I suggested we playfully pretend that Susi had temporarily lost her voice through laryngitis. Susi agreed and explored how she might share her ideas, if she wasn’t able to speak. “I could write a white paper and send it to the meeting participants. Maybe, I would ask a colleague to present my ideas during the meeting? Miming could be fun!” Susi chuckled, then she said with resolve: “These options feel like escapes to me. I want to learn how to speak up in meetings, even though it is freaking me out. I don’t want this fear to undermine my confidence any longer.” Susi realized that speaking up with confidence to make a difference was indeed her heart’s desire.
What if you physically weren’t able to do what you “should” do? Make up a crazy scenario that pertains to your particular situation. Playing with scenarios really helps open up to possibilities. Once you have considered some alternatives, you are free from your “should.” It frees you to manifest your heart’s desire.
Step 4 Envision Your Heart’s Desire Being Realized
I encouraged Susi to connect with the vision of her heart’s desire being realized. During a guided Mini-Retreat, Susi experienced herself actively participating in a meeting. She saw her ideas being implemented and the CEO thanking Susi for her contribution. Susi emerged from her meditation feeling very energized.
Take a moment now to envision your heart’s desire realized. Imagine what it would be like. What would it feel like? What is the greater impact of realizing your heart’s desire (on your life, your family, your community or your company)? Savour this experience and write down your vision.
Step 5 Take Action to Manifest Your Heart’s Desire
After Susi shared her vision with me, I asked: “What small steps could you take towards realizing this vision?” Together we brainstormed possibilities, such as joining toastmasters and speaking up in other settings, like her book club.
Susi committed to writing down one idea she wanted to share, a day prior to each work meeting. She also committed to standing in super woman pose for a few minutes before each meeting, visualizing her successful delivery. Susi’s preparation made following through and delivering her idea at the meeting a lot easier.
What small step could YOU take now towards realizing your heart’s desire? Brainstorm possibilities, on your own, with a coach, or an unbiased, trusted friend. Then commit to taking action in the way that feels right for you.
With each successful meeting contribution, Susi’s confidence grew. Over time it became easier for Susi to speak up. It still feels like a stretch for her. However, for Susi “speaking up” is a muscle worth stretching. Seeing her ideas implemented is the greatest reward for Susi. She now feels that she is making a difference at work.
Just like Susi, you too can manifest your heart’s desire one action step at a time.
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