When you learn how to delegate effectively, it frees up time and energy to focus on what you do best and enjoy most.
When I think about how to delegate effectively, I immediately think of Gloria, the treasurer of our community choir. Before concerts she sends out an e-mail asking for volunteers for specific tasks such as greeting people at the door and putting up chairs before the concert. During concert nights, Gloria sits in her chair by the door with a big smile on her face and directs the many volunteers around. She has no qualm about asking for help and receiving it. Gloria is my source of inspiration when it comes to learning how to delegate effectively!
When you learn how to delegate effectively, it frees up time and energy to focus on what you do best and enjoy most. With so much to gain, why is delegation such a struggle for so many of us? Over the years of coaching many clients, I have discovered that our negative beliefs about asking for support are one of the biggest stumbling blocks to learning how to delegate successfully. Here are a couple of the most common beliefs that can get in your way:
“This is so simple; I should be able to do this on my own.”
Most of us feel a sense of shame and embarrassment about needing help with things that we consider easy. While they may be easy for some people, they may be really challenging for others. Take one of my clients, a brilliant scientist who finds it really challenging to accomplish so called simple organizational tasks. Instead of delegating these tasks to his secretary, he kept telling himself “This is so simple, I should be able to do this on my own.” However instead of doing them, the organizational tasks just kept piling up in his inbox. He felt worse and worse about opening his e-mail, until he finally hired me as his life coach. Through life coaching he realized and accepted that while he is brilliant in his research, he really doesn’t have any talent when it comes to “simple” organizational tasks. He now delegates all of these tasks to his secretary as soon as they arrive in his inbox. He now focuses on what he does best and so does his secretary.
“I HATE doing this; I don’t want to burden anyone else with it.”
There may be activities you dread so much that you simply cannot imagine that anyone could enjoy doing them. One of my clients, a creative writer dreads house cleaning. Through coaching she learned to focus on her strengths, the things that she is good at and that energize her. Cleaning isn’t one of them. She decided to get help and hired a cleaning lady. When her maid arrived, she still felt bad for making someone else do the chores she dreaded so much. As she opened the door, she looked into the smiling face of an older woman who declared with a cheerful voice that she loved cleaning and that she was looking forward to make every surface shine in my client’s home. My client had assumed that everyone would hate cleaning just as much as she did and was relieved to see her assumption proven wrong. Whatever it is that you dread, I guarantee that there is someone who loves doing it. Go, find that person, s/he is going to thank you for it!
Take a moment to check in with yourself:
- What is the belief that most often stops you from delegating tasks?
- What might be possible for you if you let go of that belief?
- Please share your discoveries on my blog. Thank you!
Enjoy learning how to delegate effectively!
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Julia, you have been most helpful to me when it comes to accepting the idea that delegation will not only be useful to me, but could provide work and even joy for someone else.
I think the two beliefs that most often stop me from delegating tasks are: a). the one that tells me I’d be “bothering” someone else by asking for help, or b). the one that seemed to be troubling the scientist you describe above: that the task I need to have done is so “easy” I could just do it myself, even though I keep putting it off.
Through you, I’ve learned that I don’t need to worry so much about “bothering” people by asking for help. First of all, the other person can always say no! Second, I need to remember we’re all interdependent. If I’ve helped someone out in the past, perhaps that person can help me now? Or if I need someone’s help now, I can look forward to doing something for him or her in the future. Third, if it’s the kind of delegation that requires me to hire someone, that someone, like the cleaning lady described above, might be thrilled to have the work, both because she needs it and because she actually likes doing it. So the things that might be possible for me if I let go of this belief are: a). realizing more deeply that we’re all allowed to say “no”; b). realizing that we all depend on each other to some happy extent, and that’s natural; c). gaining the satisfaction of asking an expert to do something that I can’t do and knowing that expert will be happy doing it and earning for it as well.
If I let go of the belief that something’s “easy” and I “should” just do it myself, I might gain by realizing more deeply that we all have different strengths; this will allow me to focus more on my own and perhaps use them more effectively. If I keep putting something off, it might mean I really shouldn’t be doing it anyway. We’re not omni-competent and that’s why people have different gifts — so we can all do what we’re meant to do and work together! I’d also realize I just don’t have time to do everything I’d like to do — another reason we were all created with different inclinations and talents.
Thanks again, Julia, for your extremely helpful guidance.
Thank you so much, E.P. for sharing your insights with all of us! It is a tremendous joy to witness you embracing all the possibilities of delegation.
The belief that tells you, you would be “bothering” someone else by asking for help is a very common one. I am glad you shared it along with your approach on how to work with this “delegation stopper.”
In addition to the linear reciprocity of giving and receiving you describe as:
“If I’ve helped someone out in the past, perhaps that person can help me now? Or if I need someone’s help now, I can look forward to doing something for him or her in the future.”
There is also the “pay it forward” way of giving and receiving that would sound more like:
“If I’ve helped someone out in the past, perhaps someone else can help me now? Or if I need someone’s help now, I can look forward to doing something for someone else in the future.”
I still remember the day in my university days, when a fellow student offered to use her truck for the purpose of a move within the city. I was very thankful and asked if I could pay her for the usage of her truck, or if I could do something for her in return. She simply responded that she didn’t need anything from me in return and that she was sure that I had helped others in the past and was going to help others again in the future. She said that the same would happen to her. Her wise words stuck with me and inspire me whenever I feel the need to reciprocate in a linear way.
Thank you again so very much for sharing your insights here!
Warmly,
Julia :)
My dearest Julia! Thank you for this new and inspiring spark in my life! MY personal belief, that keeps me from delegating: “No one else is able to do this as well as I am.” Really nasty, I find, and for me raelly difficult to let go …. Do you have any enlightening thoughts on this? A hug over the ocean and continent … Lena
Thank you so much for sharing your personal belief that stops you from delegating, Lena. First off, you are absolutely not alone, Lena! This “nasty” belief ranks very high in the list of common beliefs that stop people from delegating.
Rather than answering your question, here are a few questions for you and other readers to ponder:
In the grand scheme of things, does the task really need to be done as well as you do it?
What could you learn from seeing the task at hand done differently?
What could you receive from delegating this task?
What’s good about taking the risk that the task may not be done as well as you would do it?
Allow yourself to contemplate these questions (or the one that resonates most with you) for a few days. Each day you may find different answers to the question(s).
Enjoy!
Sending you a big hug back over the continent and the ocean, dear Lena!
Julia :)
Thank you for your online Newsletter with great soul searching sparks!
Often for me, one of my personal beliefs that keeps me from delegating is that “it will be more work to delegate than to do it myself.” It is very related and probably attached to the same belief that Lena has about “no one else is able to do this as well as I can!” I will ponder this more and work on disputing these beliefs and cognitively restructuring some new healthier beliefs!
Thank you, Tiffany for sharing one of your “delegation stoppers”!
“It will be more work to delegate than to do it myself” is another very common belief. I am glad you shared it.
I challenge you to come up with at least 10 reasons for the opposite belief: “It will be less work to delegate than to do it myself.”
Here are a few to get you started:
– Once I pass on a specific task, I don’t have to do it any longer, resulting in less work on my plate.
– For a continuous task, I only have to pass it on once, the other person can do it from then on saving me time and energy.
– Thinking of Gloria, I am reminded that it can be a lot of fun to sit back and direct others to do tasks. So much more can be accomplished than if she was running around trying to do it all herself.
Have fun coming up with statements that support this new belief, Tiffany! Notice any shifts you may feel in yourself as you befriend this belief.
Warmly,
Julia :)
Thank you, Lena, E.P. and Tiffany for your valuable comments!
Congratulations E.P., you are the lucky winner of the free life coaching session!
Thank you once again to all of you for your valuable comments.
I look forward to your and other reader’s comments on this and future blog posts.
Warmly,
Julia :)