Do you feel stuck in a rut? Do you wish you could dump the bad habits that drain your energy and keep you from moving forward? You are not alone!
Notice Your Bad Habits
My client, let’s call her Deb, came to her coaching call feeling frustrated that despite her greatest efforts to stop watching “useless” online videos each evening, she still succumbed to her draining habit most nights and then felt bad about wasting her time.
Take a moment now to notice habits in your life that leave you feeling depleted. Simply write them down on a piece of paper. If you are stumped, here are a few prompts of common habits:
- Checking your social media feeds
- Browsing the Internet
- Eating chocolate
- Drinking
- Smoking
- Playing with your hair or beard
- Biting your nails
From your own list of draining habits, circle the one you want to experiment with. Maybe it’s the habit that’s currently draining you the most. Perhaps it’s the one that seems most ready for change. Don’t worry about choosing the right one. Most importantly, choose a habit to begin with.
Enact Your Habit in Slow-Motion
I acknowledged Deb’s self-awareness and her dedication to living with integrity. Then, I invited her to explore her habit with an internal slow-motion camera experiment. Deb was curious about the experiment, because she wanted to discover the deeper needs that had her turn to online videos for entertainment each evening.
First, I invited Deb to get centred and grounded by taking a few deep breaths, letting go of any concerns and allowing herself to arrive in her body, here and now. Once Deb settled into a comfortable, relaxed state, I suggested that it was that time in the evening, when Deb usually began to watch videos. Then, I invited her to take the first step towards watching videos in slow motion (5-10 times slower than she usually would). The slow motion would help Deb study what happened inside her.
Deb slowly moved towards her phone and noticed: “I feel some excitement in my chest. I also feel this longing to stop being so serious.”
I encouraged Deb to continue noticing her body sensations as she slowly moved her thumb towards the button that would turn on her phone. She noticed a tiredness in her body and her shoulders felt very heavy. As Deb played her slow-motion visualization of watching online videos, she was getting more and more tired.
Take a moment now to enact your chosen habit in slow-motion. Allow yourself to take a few deep breaths and let go of any concerns. Allow yourself to arrive in your body. Feel the floor underneath your feet. Notice the sensations in your body as the air flows in and out of your nose and belly with each breath. Allow yourself to settle into a comfortable, relaxed state.
Then enact your selected habit in slow motion, paying exquisite attention to the sensations in your body as you do so. Just like Deb, who didn’t actually turn on her phone to watch videos, you will run a slow-motion simulation. The more curiously and openly you can engage in this experiment, the richer your discoveries.
Identify Your True Needs
I acknowledged Deb’s curiosity and exquisite awareness and asked about the insights she had gained from this “slow-motion experiment.” Deb shared that she realized just how draining and tiring this habit was. The experiment also helped Deb to become aware of her deeper needs for rest and play. Deb recognized that the habitual video watching was an attempt to satisfy those needs. However, her habit wasn’t giving her what she truly needed.
Now take a moment to look at the insights from your slow-motion experiment. Acknowledge the deeper needs and desires you discover. If you are having difficulties identifying your true needs or are not sure which of your body’s signals to tune into, don’t worry. Just like Deb, you can receive support from coaching to uncover the hidden wisdom of your habit.
Explore How to Satisfy Your Deeper Needs
When I asked Deb how else she might tend to these needs for rest and playfulness, she immediately responded: “I want to play with colours.” Deb had recently bought beautiful crayons and a colouring book, which she hadn’t used yet.
After this experiment she realized that she wanted to play with colours more freely. The lines in the colouring book felt too restrictive to her. Instead, she wanted to doodle, experiment with colours and let her hands spontaneously create shapes.
As she imagined herself engaging in this activity, she felt a smile in her face. Deb felt energized, just imagining herself playing with colours.
Take a moment now to explore how else you might satisfy your deeper needs. What would feel energizing for you? Notice the spontaneous ideas that pop into your mind and allow yourself to imagine following through. Notice your body sensations as you do.
Witness the Positive Shifts in Your Life
Next time we talked, Deb shared excitedly how much fun she’s been having with her colour pencil crayons each night. She had not felt the urge to watch online videos. As a result of her evening playtime, she experienced more restful sleeps and felt more engaged, creative and present throughout her day at work.
Notice the positive shifts in your life, as you follow through with your ideas and take good care of your deeper needs.
You are well on your way to release the habits that drain your energy. As you do, you’ll feel more and more energized and creative. Use this positive momentum to propel you forward even further. Book your free career clarity consultation, now!
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