Making Friends with Your Craving

Making Friends with Your Craving

Next time you feel a craving, focus on feeling the craving rather than the object of your craving such as chocolate.

Next time you feel a craving, focus on feeling the craving rather than the object of your craving such as chocolate.

I love chocolate, especially dark chocolate. I love the way it melts in my mouth, I love its sweet and bitter taste. There is just nothing quite like it.

Unfortunately I have become more and more sensitive to the caffeine contained in chocolate. It gives me the jitters, and when I have it too late in the afternoon, it prevents me from sleeping well at night.

Therefore, I have tried very hard to reduce my chocolate consumption. I tried eating other treats. However, nothing comes even close to chocolate for me. I tried not buying chocolate with the rational: “When I don’t have it in the house, I can’t succumb to it.” I tried minimizing my consumption to one piece only. This strategy is probably the hardest. Chocolate tastes so good, it always leaves me wanting more.

Recently I read “Perfect Love Imperfect Relationships” by John Welwood in which he discusses how to move beyond addictive behaviours in romantic relationships. He asserts that we often see our beloved as the only source of our happiness. It dawned on me that the addictive behaviour he was talking about may also apply to my romance with chocolate. What if the remedies he suggests could help me with my chocolate craving?

The next time I felt a craving for chocolate, I focused on feeling the craving rather than focusing on the object of my craving: chocolate. I experienced the sweetest sensation. I felt warm, vibrant and alive. My whole body felt very open and receptive. The feeling itself was far better than chocolate; a strong statement coming from a chocolate lover. By reaching for the box of chocolate, I had been avoiding feeling my craving all along. As I discovered, the feeling of craving itself is quite delicious, nothing to be afraid of.

How to make friends with your craving:

  1. Whatever your soft spot, next time you crave it, focus on the sensation of craving in your body instead of the object of your craving.
  2. Be curious about your sensations and appreciate them for what they are. Open yourself to feeling them fully.
  3. Enjoy your renewed energy, sense of freedom and all the wonderful sensations your craving conjures up in your body.

As you befriend your craving as a natural part of you, the objects of your craving loose their power. This is not an absolute cure, you may still occasionally indulge in the objects of your craving. I still eat chocolate occasionally. However, each time I do, I know that I am short-changing myself. Savouring the sensation of craving in my body is far more satisfying than chocolate.

Please share your experience of making friends with your craving on my blog.

Thank you in advance! I know, your story will inspire others!

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Julia James

Julia James is a certified life coach and award-winning author of the book, The Mini-Retreat Solution. With over ten years experience coaching people through positive career transformations, Julia is passionate about helping people connect with their true calling.


  1. Fernando Reply

    Thanks Julia! That is such a good reminder of Vipassana meditation… All about being fully present to our cravings and aversions as they show up in our body sensations. More at http://www.dhamma.org – one of the best things I’ve done.

    • Julia Reply

      Thank you, Fernando!

      Great to know that “making friends with your cravings” reminded you of your experience with Vipassana meditation. It is fascinating what happens when be appreciate these sensations.

      Julia 🙂

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