Do you get stuck in comparing yourself to other people on your search for a fulfilling career? You are not alone! Comparison itself is an awesome tool to measure and evaluate. However, when you get caught in measuring things that aren’t helpful or empowering, comparison will leave you feeling hopeless. This is what happens to most of us from time to time. That’s why I am so excited to show you a way to make comparison work for YOU!

Notice How You Compare Yourself to Other People

During a recent coaching conversation my client, Rhiannon (not her real name) was feeling down. It was the 5-year anniversary of dropping out of law school and she was filled with regret. All her classmates who completed the degree now had prestigious jobs, nice homes and happy families. Rhiannon was stuck comparing her life to the lives of these successful lawyers. Take a moment to notice how you are comparing yourself to other people. Who do you compare yourself with?

Realize the Negative Impact of this Kind of Comparison

I asked Rhiannon what she was noticing in her body while she was sharing her experience. Rhiannon became aware of her slumped posture and felt a tightness around her chest.

When thinking about comparing yourself to others, what are you noticing about your body posture and physical sensations? How is this kind of comparison impacting your sense of self-worth and confidence? Jot down your insights.

Explore an Empowering Way of Comparison

After listening to Rhiannon for a while, I asked: “Would you like to explore a different kind of comparison? How about comparing ‘Rhiannon from 5 years’ ago to ‘present time Rhiannon’?” She was open to the experiment. Next, I guided Rhiannon on a Mini-Retreat in her imagination to explore her five-year journey from the time she quit law school to the present time from an aerial perspective. Rhiannon enjoyed paragliding back in time. From up high she took in her experiences, growth, and accomplishments.


Take a moment now and venture on your own exploration in your favourite way of air travel. First choose a significant comparison date, such as a move, a milestone birthday, a date of being laid off, or a new job. Choose the time period between a significant event in the past and now, that you want to explore from up high.

Then take a moment to relax deeply, find a comfortable, upright position. Shift from thinking to breathing. Simply allow yourself to enjoy the sensations of your breath for a few minutes. Now, in your imagination, lift off the ground and fly above your current situation. As you travel back in time, especially pay attention to your learning, growth and accomplishments along the way.

Acknowledge Your Accomplishments and Growth

When you emerge from your journey, write down everything you witnessed and acknowledge what you’ve learnt and accomplished in writing. When Rhiannon emerged from her Mini-Retreat, she acknowledged all the positive changes she had accomplished over the last 5 years, such as healing her depression, moving to a city she loves, building a strong circle of friends.


She also noticed the tremendous learning and growth that she experienced when she created her own business and when she closed that business. Rhiannon witnessed the strength it took for her to move on from her business ‘failure’. She was amazed at how quickly she managed to find a job that sustains her. Rhiannon emerged from her Mini-Retreat feeling ready to inquire more deeply into what kind of career truly energizes and inspires her.

Celebrate Your Positive Inner Qualities

With each accomplishment and learning Rhiannon mentioned, I asked her to notice the qualities within herself that made it possible.

What are the qualities that you notice within yourself as you reconnect with your own accomplishments and learnings? Jot down these qualities and celebrate how they have helped you navigate your journey.


When I asked Rhiannon about her inner qualities, she noticed how much courage it took for her to leave law school, not knowing what she was going to do. Seeking help with her depression also took courage and trust. While creating her own business Rhiannon also leaned into her inner quality of courage along with perseverance. Closing her business was the toughest learning experience for Rhiannon.

When she revisited how she navigated that challenge, she realized just how much she drew on her inner quality of faith. She recognized how this experience grew her ability to let go. In the way she moved on from her business failure, Rhiannon witnessed her own resilience and resourcefulness.

As she began to celebrate her amazing qualities of courage, perseverance, faith, resilience and resourcefulness, she began to feel pride in herself and excitement about her next career move.

Take Stock and Move Forward

What do you notice as you begin to celebrate your accomplishments and learnings? What is it like for you to focus on the difference you have created and the distance you have travelled? Just like Rhiannon, you may feel stronger, lighter, and more confident to move forward on your journey to career clarity.

So next time you catch yourself, comparing your life to the lives of others, take it as a sign that it is time to explore and celebrate your own journey. Enjoy witnessing how far you’ve come and how you continue to evolve in amazing ways. Use this fun and healthy way of comparison to take stock of your learnings and accomplishments. Really celebrate the qualities within that help you grow and succeed.