Archive for the ‘SPARK – the newsletter’ Category

My company’s tagline is also my motto in life. It’s a philosophy that guides me, because passion and dreams make life AMAZING!

Many years ago, my friend Miriam spent a year in Chile. Around the same time, I discovered my passion for Salsa dancing and Latin culture. Within our friendship, a dream emerged to travel together through South America.

So, I enrolled in a beginner Spanish course. Then years went by and nothing much happened. But whenever we met or talked on the phone, we imagined the places we would visit together. Eventually I realized that without a travel date, this dream would stay in our imaginations.

When we discussed possible travel dates, it turned out we both had the same timeframe in mind, even though it was several years away. We took this as a sign.

I started learning Spanish more seriously, hiring a private teacher and practicing with a Mexican friend. With every new word I learned, our dream became more real.

I saved money for the trip and continued to build flexibility into my business. We sketched out a rough route through Peru and Chile, and exchanged packing lists. When the day finally came to buy airline tickets, we couldn’t believe how excited we were.

What followed were five unforgettable weeks this winter, traveling through the cultural and natural beauty of South America. From the Andes to the deserts, we met so many friendly, generous locals and shared heartfelt conversations with other travelers.

Every day we ventured into the unknown, enjoying the surprises that unfolded. My life is forever richer because of this experience. It truly was the journey of a lifetime.

Do you have a dream? A passion? What is your heart’s desire? Whatever your heart is calling for, listen! Follow the call, one step at a time. That is how a dream comes to life.

Habits – the things we do and say automatically, without thinking – are a very big part of our lives.

They show up in our everyday activities (showering, driving, eating) … the way we talk (gestures, phrases, style) … even the way we think (self-talk, fears, judgments).

We develop habits because they make life simple. They automate our behaviour so we can accomplish things without much attention or effort.

Wouldn’t it be nice to “automate” some healthy habits of your own choosing? What if you consistently went to the gym, without even thinking about it? What if you always went to bed on time, just because?

Well, you can! Developing new habits might be easier than you think. Here’s how:

1. First, pick a habit to establish. (Let’s use exercise as an example.)

2. What would be the smallest action you could take to get started? (For example, you could simply put on your running shoes.) Commit to doing this one small thing on a regular basis, ideally on a schedule.

3. Set up a reminder to help you remember your commitment. (For example, put a note in your calendar.)

4. When you feel ready, gradually increase your commitment – but no more than you can consistently do. Just be sure to make small changes over time; sudden or drastic changes rarely stick.

5. Share your commitment with someone. Accountability really helps.

6. Identify the personal values you are honouring with your action. (For example, if you value health and self-care, recognize that exercise is supporting something that’s important to you.)

7. Notice how good you feel when you follow a healthy habit; give yourself kudos for taking this positive step.

8. Stick with your new habit for at least 30 days. Before long, this behaviour will feel automatic and you won’t have to think about it anymore.

9. If you do slip, don’t give up – just try again the next day!

Does your holiday season seem a little less festive than it used to? Maybe a little more stressful?

Sometimes, in the flurry of shopping and decorating and rushing to parties, we completely miss the point of the season. But who is to blame? The holidays can be busy and expensive and emotionally exhausting!

If your holidays are starting to feel like a ritual of obligation, it may be time to change the way you “celebrate”.

Here are five ideas to help you reclaim your holiday cheer:

1.Simplify Your Social Calendar
Choose a few parties that are meaningful to you and send your regrets to the rest.

2.Give the Gift of Appreciation
Rather than buying gifts for all your loved ones, set aside an evening and write personal cards with heartfelt notes of appreciation. Be specific about the qualities in each person that touch you; people love to hear what’s special about them.

3.Spread Some Love in the Community
Choose a few charities you would like to support and let your friends and family know that you are donating to these charities in lieu of buying gifts.

4.Share the Cooking and Baking
Find ways to share and/or reduce your time in the kitchen: cook together; ask guests to bring side dishes; do a cookie exchange with friends.

5.Savour the Time You Save
With these four steps, you can create a whole lot of time to enjoy this season. Why not try a relaxed weekend with friends and family or curling up in bed with a cup of hot cocoa and a long-neglected novel. Do whatever feels relaxing and meaningful to you. It’s your holiday… so follow your heart’s desire and spend it they way you want!

Are you a champion procrastinator? Some of us are such talented and accomplished procrastinators that we really should get an award. Honestly, we can be so creative! Where others see a pile of paperwork, we see another game of Solitaire. Dirty dishes in the sink? That’s just a sign it’s time to paint your nails.

Feeling a little wince of recognition? Me too. I think maybe we’re all born procrastinators. So, it’s up to us to learn a few skills, so we can be productive and determined, despite our tendency to avoid the things we don’t feel inspired to do.

The next time you feel cornered by a task you don’t like, take a look inside. Feel that tension building? It’s telling you: “This task requires more energy, attention, or focus than I have right now.”

That’s what makes you search for a fun or relaxing alternative: the need to recharge yourself.

The key to conquering procrastination is to recognize that it’s just reflecting your need to re-energize and regroup. Once you know this, you can feed the real need – instead of the urge to goof off.

Without a doubt, the best anti-procrastination strategy is also one of the simplest: take a Mini-Retreat!

Mini-Retreats are 5-15 minutes set aside for the sole purpose of relaxing and recharging. You deliberately stop your daily activity and step out of your familiar ways, just to reclaim some calm, focused attention.

Mini-Retreats can be still or active. Here are some ideas:
1. Sit down, close your eyes, relax in your chair and focus on your breathing.
2. Go for a nice slow walk – or a brisk one.
3. Stretch your body, starting at your feet and working your way up.
4. Get outside and feel the sun on your skin.
5. Turn on your favourite music and dance or sing along.

After a few minutes, you’ll feel your energy level pick up, your mood lighten and your inspiration return, and you’ll have what it takes to go forth and conquer once more.

As we come upon this Thanksgiving season, I find myself deep in celebration – what a wonderful place to be!

Let me tell you how I landed here, and why I’m so full of gratitude.

As I built my business over the last five years, there have been a handful of people who played an especially meaningful role in my pursuit of success. Today, I want to turn the spotlight on them and acknowledge the difference they made in my life.

First, I want to honour a woman who was extraordinarily supportive at a time when I needed it most. I met Martha, my most influential coach, when I was just starting my business. I knew I needed her support, but I also knew I couldn’t afford her fees.

In a highly unusual gesture of faith, she agreed to coach me on credit. I was shocked – this is just not how coaching is done. But I was very fortunate that she offered to do so; her support made a tremendous contribution to my success.

Last week, I was finally ready to pay my debt. I don’t think I have ever experienced more joy in writing a cheque! I felt overwhelmed with gratitude for her trust in me.

Perhaps this piece of history is why I take such pride and pleasure in supporting my own team of associate coaches. It is truly a thrill to lead such a sharp and committed group, and it feels deeply rewarding to support them in their growth as coaches.

My professional support team also deserves a turn in the spotlight. I am consistently impressed with the creativity and professionalism of my assistant, bookkeeper, designer, web whiz and editor. I could not have built this business without them.

Who really made a difference in your life?

• Take a few minutes to list some names.
• Add notes on why these people are so special to you.
• Then, embrace the spirit of Thanksgiving and tell them how grateful you are to have them in your life.

It was a year ago that Anne told me about her plan to start her own company. She positively lit up when she talked about it, so when I saw her last week, I was eager to ask about her progress.

“Well… we’re trying to sell the house right now, and of course find a new place to live, which means we’re knee-deep in paperwork and extra tasks right now….” She trailed off. “But when all that’s behind us, then I’ll have time to start the business.”

“Oh,” I replied. “And when do you think that will be?”

She looked at me with a blank face. “Well… the market’s just awful right now, so who knows how long our house will take to sell….”

The longer I listened to her, the more I realized that in her mind, her circumstances and fears had grown larger than her dream. Her own business had moved so far back in her list of priorities that it was nearly out of reach.

Sounds familiar? Do you let circumstances, finances and possessions dictate your life? If you think you might, don’t feel bad. Many people do the very same thing.

Stop waiting for the “perfect time” to do what you really want to do. It’s time to give your dreams a higher ranking on your list of priorities.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What is the dream that you keep pushing back?
2. What BUTs and other circumstances are “stopping you”?
3. What two steps could you take immediately to bring you closer to your dream?
4. What can you do to stay in touch with your dream daily?

The music and dance of Latin America absolutely captivate me. I love the rhythm, the voices, the passion, the warmth and the joyful feelings they exude.

As I learn Spanish, I am starting to understand the lyrics of these upbeat songs. To my surprise, they often speak of heartbreak, loved ones lost, brutal living conditions, loneliness and poverty.

I am amazed that Latin American people are able to embrace and transform their pain, anger and frustration into beautiful lyrics and music that invites you to dance, and feel joyful and alive.

Somehow, connecting pain with beauty transforms it. It becomes bittersweet, like music at a funeral, giving us the courage to experience instead of avoid our pain as discussed in the SPARK June edition. This opens the door to healing, leading us from despair to inspiration. It’s a gentle yet powerful way to move through difficult times.

How can you use this strategy in your own life? How can you transform your anger, frustration and sadness through music and dance? Here are some ideas to explore:

1. Find a private place where you will be uninterrupted for at least 15 minutes.
2. Choose some music that evokes and reflects your emotions. As it begins to play, take a few moments to connect with and fully experience your feelings.
3. Allow your body to describe the emotions through movement and sound. Let your emotions run through you like a river, using movement and sound as your guide.
4. As you move through the emotion, notice if a new song or rhythm emerges in you. If so, sing it out loud and let your body move in sync.
5. Continue until the emotional charge is released. Journal about your experience if you like.

Have you ever heard yourself saying, “That vacation was fun, but I’m exhausted! I think I need a vacation from my vacation…”? In the mad rush to go play, we often fill our precious free time with too many activities.

With summer fast approaching and trip planning in full swing, let’s take a moment to explore how to make the most of your vacation time.

It’s important to start with the end in mind. When you return, how do you want to feel? Relaxed? Rested? Calm? Joyful? United? Choose a few key words and keep them in mind as you plan your adventure. Does your schedule support these objectives?

Now, instead of planning what you want to do, give some thought to what you want to experience. Do you like a lot of free unplanned time? Would you like to do something you’ve never done before or would you like to be in familiar territory? What pace would work best for you? Are you looking for a thrill, an escape or a cultural education? Do you want to be spontaneous or do you prefer to plan things ahead of time?

These questions shape the experience of the trip. Once that groundwork is laid, it’s time to choose the locations, activities and schedule that suit your dream vacation.

If you and your co-vacationers have different dreams for the vacation, talk about what each wants to experience (not do) and find a creative way to honour each person’s ideals. Perhaps this means time apart for solo adventures, compromising with each other, or choosing a third alternative. Whatever it takes, rely on your feeling words as a touchstone and you’re sure to have a wonderful time.

How to design your ideal vacation:
1. What are the most important feelings you want to return home with?
2. What activities, pace, environment and agreements would support those feelings?
3. What do you need to do (or say) to make your dream vacation a reality?

Emotions are one way the body tells us “all is well” or “pay attention, there’s a problem here.” So all feelings serve a function – they keep us on track.

However, people tend to desire the “good” feelings and avoid the “bad” feelings. We all want more love, joy, enthusiasm, happiness and relaxation. But sadness, anger, anxiety, fear and jealousy… well, we avoid them at all costs.

Unfortunately, when we spend energy avoiding the “bad” feelings – and it does take a LOT of energy – we deny ourselves the lessons that underlie the pain.

Sandy, who recently attended my seminar on Mini-Retreats, learned this the hard way. As a sleep-deprived new mother with a demanding career, she really struggled through the relaxation exercises. “All these feelings came up for me. I feel guilty about leaving the baby to go work, and guilty leaving work to be with the baby. And I feel frustrated and angry and sad that I even feel this way!”

Her feelings were certainly understandable, but until she allowed herself to actually feel them, she couldn’t move past them. After the tears fell and dried, we started uncovering the issues and lessons underneath the emotions. It turns out, work-life balance is very important to Sandy, but she felt like it was out of reach. Once this was on the table, we could explore options and solutions.

When we avoid our “bad” feelings, we can’t resolve them. What’s worse, when we numb out the “bad” feelings, we also numb the “good” feelings.

Allow yourself to feel all your emotions. By daring to be with your anger, fear and sadness, you also develop your capacity to experience joy, happiness and love. This is the fullness of life!

How to embrace all emotions:

1. Find a quiet place to sit for at least 10 minutes. Get comfortable, take some deep breaths and relax.

2. Close your eyes and allow your thoughts and feelings to flow.

3. Get curious. If your emotions had colours, textures and shapes, what would they be? Where do you feel them in your body?

4. As you observe your emotions, notice how they shift and change over time.

5. Journal about your experience, if you wish.

Why is it that most of us are our own worst critic? It seems we each have an automated self-nagging habit. “You should work harder, earn more, lose weight… you’re not good enough, you’ll never get there….” No wonder we doubt ourselves!

Negative mind chatter can really compromise one’s self esteem and quality of life. How can you ever feel good or perform at your best if your internal dialogue is tearing you down?

High ambitions and strong intentions are not enough. To turn your dreams into reality, you must learn to be your own loudest cheerleader.

When I was competing in the 30 km skiing marathon, I had very few people to cheer me on – and they were all waiting at the finish line! As I made my way across the vast terrain, I could only rely on my own internal cheer.

In those quiet hours, I recalled verbal cues from my trainer and supportive comments from family and friends. I motivated myself by thinking of the charities I was supporting. But most of all, I just kept repeating, “You can do it, Julia!” This uplifting internal dialogue was exactly what I needed to push myself to the finish line.

This month, I encourage you to tune into the messages that run through the back of your mind. Make an effort to shift them from criticism to encouragement. Here’s how:

1. Choose powerful words such as “shine,” “connect,” or “relax,” to remind you how to approach your day, or a specific challenge.

2. Take a moment to acknowledge yourself for each accomplishment in your day.

3. When you assess your performance, start with what went well, acknowledge yourself and then look for the lessons.

4. If you feel intimidated, uncertain or weak, encourage yourself with, “I know you can do it!” or “go for it!”

5. Imagine being your own best friend and encourage yourself as a best friend would.