Archive for the ‘Mini Retreats’ Category

Frazzled and rushed?

Struggling with the pressures of daily life? – You are not alone!

Join us for an interactive Mini-Retreat workshop at Harmony Wellness Centre in Vancouver. Learn how to improve your health & happiness in minutes a day. I will share successful strategies of how to relax in quick, fun and guilt-free ways in the midst of your busy life.

Where: Harmony Wellness Centre, 736 West 16th Avenue, Vancouver

When: Tuesday, February 22, 2011, 7pm − 8:30pm

Your investment: $15 (earlybird until Feb. 10) / $20 as of Feb. 11

Please call 604-484-0389 to reserve your seat!

I came across a great book, “The Myth of Stress” by Andrew Bernstein.  He challenges the concept that stress is  ”occuring in response to adverse external influences” . We have been trained to accept that certain situations and events in life are inherently stressful:

• traffic jams
• divorce
• death of a loved one
• moving
• finances

Holmes and Rahe even developed a scale that lists all the stressful events in order of their magnitude starting with “death of spouse” and ending with “minor violations of the law, e.g. parking infringement”.

However when we examine this assumption closer, as Bernstein did, we find that people respond differently to different situations and events. When I ask : “What makes you feel stressed?” during a Mini-Retreat workshop, the answers vary greatly:

• finding funding for the organization
• a screechy chair
• deadlines
• people coming into my office
• interruptions
• dirty, unorganized house
• expectations
• workload
• certain people

As people share what makes them feel stressed, others usually disagree. The person who felt stressed by finding funding could not understand how someone could feel stressed when hearing a screechy chair.  However, when we follow Bernstein’s explanatory path, these differences make a lot of sense. “People can be exposed to the exact same circumstances (such as public speaking) and have very different experiences. One person might have a belief that this is a dangerous situation, which leads to [...] stress, another person believing it’s an opportunity, would be unfazed and another might even find the situation enjoyable.”

Bernstein asserts that stress isn’t caused by the event itself but by our thoughts about the event or situation and especially by our “counterfactual” thoughts, such as:

“There shouldn’t be so much traffic.”
“There should be more funding.”
“He shouldn’t have done/said that.”
“I should weigh less.”
“Chairs shouldn’t be screechy.”

When you believe these thoughts strongly, they create an emotional negative response such as anger, frustration, resentment, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, sadness or worries. In short you feel stressed by this belief.

Bernstein has developed a process that helps you challenge the beliefs that are causing you stress and gain insights that help you expand your thinking and let go of the limiting beliefs . Through his process you can reach a state of feeling less stressed and more at choice.  To learn more about this approach to dealing with stress visit Andrew’s website.

I have discovered a wonderful new way to relax:  Giving and Receiving head massages with a stainless steal head massager.  You can give yourself an energizing head massage, or you can give and receive head massages with your partner or a good friend.

It is such a great idea that it has already been copied many times and now comes in lots of subtle variations and is called different names depending on the producer such as head massager spider, head tingler and scalp massager. This promotional video demonstrates it well.

We purchased our head massager at a local street market, but you can find them online too.

All too often we let rush, obligation and expectations overshadow the holiday season. Rather than reacting to the many demands that present themselves this time of year, take a moment to ponder the following questions and write down your answers:

• What is the atmosphere you want to create?
• With whom do you wish to spend time?
• How do you want to feel?
• How do you want to act?

Once you have answered these questions, use these three R’s to make this season a lot less stressful and more enjoyable:

Reduce

Be selective with your commitments this season. Choose the functions you most want to attend and host according to the atmosphere you want to create this season. Remember, quality not quantity  counts. Enjoy the celebrations you attend and send your regrets to the rest instead of rushing from one function to the next.

Re-Gift

Things come into our lives in so many ways. The things you  receive are not always the things  you need, or want. However,  as the saying goes “One person’s trash is another person’s treasure.” You may bring great joy to people in your circle by re-gifting your unwanted treasures.

I once received a set of yard light s as a door prize at a business function. I didn’t have any use for these beautiful fixtures. However, I thought of my friend who owns a bed and breakfast. They fit perfectly in her yard and she and her guests enjoy them very much to this day.

As you think about giving this season, take a look at all the things you don’t need or want anymore. Think about who in your circle would enjoy them. This will save you time, money and you may just find a happy home for your clutter.

Relax

To enjoy the season fully, take moments to rel a x in the midst of it all. It will help you be present and fully enjoy your experience and the pe ople around you.

• Be a Kid Again: rediscover natural phenomena such as snowflakes with your kids, nephews or nieces or grandchildren. Join in the fun of building a snowman or going for a sledge ride.
  
• Forgive Someone: think of someone who offended you,  feel the anger and resentment in your body and breathe into it, feel it slowly diminishing. Recognize that the person who caused you grief is doing her/his best. In your imagination forgive this person, release your resentment and see her/him happy and smiling.
• Breathe: observe your breath, notice the speed, depth and quality of your breathing. Your breath will naturally slow down and deepen when you pay attention. Enjoy!

For more ideas, check out The Mini-Retreat Solution and join us for the Mini-Retreat Community Call on Dec. 15th.

Over the last seven years of coaching busy professionals on the phone, one of the most common questions I hear before embarking in a new coaching relationship is: “Where are we going to meet?” My answer is invariably: “On the phone, I call you wherever you are.” My answer raises some natural questions:

• How can my coach help me without seeing me?
• How can I feel comfortable without seeing my coach?
• How can we establish a trusting coaching relationship without ever meeting in person?

These same questions were going through my mind when I completed my coach training. Therefore I chose to coach my clients in person. After a few months of coaching face to face, one of my clients asked if we could meet on the phone instead. He didn’t have the time to drive across the city for his coaching sessions. I wanted to make coaching possible for this client and agreed to coach him on the phone. As soon as we began coaching on the phone, his results improved.  I was surprised and curious. I wondered if the same could be true for my all of my  clients. 

I began sharing my observation with my clients and invited them to give coaching on the phone a chance. Some of my clients were reluctant but eventually all were willing to try at least one coaching session on the phone. To my even greater surprise the same shift happened for all of my coaching clients. Even those whose preference was for such important communication to be in person, achieved better results with coaching on the phone. The most important goal as a life coach is to help my clients achieve results.  Based on these improved outcomes when using the telephone as our communication medium, I decided to only work on the phone.

The question as to why coaching on the phone achieved better results was still on my mind.  I was eager to find solid explanations. On my quest I came up with the following reasons:

• When we meet face to face with someone, we want to make a good impression, whether subconsciously  or consciously.  The business of wanting to look good and make a good impression takes energy . This energy is used directly  towards achieving results with coaching on the phone.
• When we meet face to face we are receiving a lot of information. We take in the new environment, we read the body language of the other person, and we interpret the various visual cues we receive. All of this can become a distraction from our intended focus. When we meet on the phone, both coach and client are in their familiar environment. We naturally focus all of our energy on moving forward and achieving results.
• During the coaching process, emotions can surface and clients sometimes cry, which is a very healthy process by the way.  Being on the phone when crying often feels safer for my clients as they don’t have to worry about how they look and if their make-up smears. The tears may flow allowing one to move through the emotion much easier and move on faster to regain our focus.
• Of course when I meet with you on the phone as your coach, I have less information available about you. However, the old saying “less is more” certainly applies. Having less information, I am intently focused on your voice, your words and your tone. This enables me to tune into what you are saying and how you are saying it more deeply.  I receive bigger picture information that helps us clarify and address your most important goals.

Coaching on the phone is more effective because you can:

• receive coaching in your preferred environment (your home or office) and don’t have to spend time rushing through traffic to get to your coaching session.
• receive coaching when you are away on business or personal travels, no need to postpone your coaching session because you are out of town.
• work with your preferred coach no matter where he/she resides.
• continue working with your coach when you  or your coach move.

In short coaching on the phone means optimal results in the least amount of time. I work with clients all over the world, whether you are in Toronto, Vancouver, Dubai or Germany, I will coach you wherever YOU are, literally!

Frazzled and rushed? Struggling with the pressures of daily life? Alone with your challenges?

Connect in community to learn how to relax and refresh quickly.

Join the FREE monthly Mini-Retreat call & learn how to relax in the midst of your busy life:

• Dial in from the comfort of your home or office at noon (PST) on the 3rd Wednesday of the month.
• Enjoy live guided Mini-Retreats & learn how to incorporate relaxation into your life.
• From start to finish the call is no longer than 20 minutes, conveniently fitting into a lunch break. Of course, you can leave the call at any time.
• Return to work relaxed, refreshed  and inspired to tackle your next task effectively.
• All calls are archived and available for listening in your own time, should you happen to miss one.

Register NOW for the FIRST Mini-Retreat Community Call on Nov. 17, 2010 at noon (PST).

Enjoy!

Frazzled and rushed?

Struggling with the pressures of daily life?

Alone with your challenges? -  Connect in community to learn how to relax and refresh quickly.

Join us for the upcoming workshop in Victoria and learn how to: 

• Improve your health, performance & happiness 
• Relax and refresh in minutes, no matter where you are 
• Create a supportive environment

When: Tuesday, November 9, 2010 at 7:30 pm – 8:30pm
Where: Lululemon 584 Johnson Street, Victoria, BC

FREE Community workshop! Everyone welcome! 

A glass of wine is the perfect way to relax…or is it?

While having a drink seems to have a relaxing effect, in reality our senses are simply numbed by the effect of the alcohol.

As alcohol enters our bloodstream, we do not feel our internal tension and stress to the same degree.  Our felt sense while in this numbed state creates an illusion that we are more relaxed and less stressed. However, underneath the alcohol induced numbness, the same tension remains. In addition, your already tense, stressed and tired body now has to expend additional energy to process the alcohol, leading to that sleepy sensation that often follows the drink after work.

The good news is that there are many fun ways to relax in moments. Next time you feel stressed, tense and overwhelmed instead of pouring yourself a glass of your favourite alcoholic beverage, treat yourself to a Mini-Retreat:

• Wash Away Your Worries: when washing your hands, imagine your worries flowing down the drain with the water
• Think of Someone You Love: what is special about this person? recall a special memory, feel the emotion it evokes in you. 
• Move to the Rhythm: turn on music that resonates with your mood, move your body to the rhythm. Enjoy!

For more ideas, check out The Mini-Retreat Solution.

You may of course still enjoy a drink every once in a while, just don’t expect it to really help you relax!

Pianist Craig Addy offers a unique relaxation service inspired by his childhood experience of crawling under the piano while his mother played. Always on the lookout for unique and inspiring ways to relax, I was intrigued by Craig Addy’s Under the Piano Sound Spa and surprised my partner John with a special date there.

In his cozy, candlelit apartment Craig improvised on the piano just for the two of us. John and I crawled under the piano and relaxed on the soft blankets and cushions that were laid out for us below the beautiful, wooden instrument. We were enveloped by the sound vibrations and carried away by the music Craig created for us in the moment. Emerging from underneath the piano after Craig’s performance, we both felt deeply relaxed and rejuvenated.

If you love music, this special treat is for you. For more information and to book your sound spa experience visit: http://www.underthepiano.ca/

Photo:  by Rachel Lando

Motivate the Elephant

3. “Shrink the Change”: Break down the change until it no longer intimidates the Elephant.  Lucia Terra, a reader of The Mini-Retreat Solution says: “I had always found I was too busy to take a break because I thought I needed to free one or two hours of my time. That almost never happened. With the “Mini-Retreat Solution” there aren’t any excuses anymore: even if you only have a couple of minutes, you can take any of the ideas presented in the book and take a break at home, at work or even during your commute!”

Shape the Path

4. “Tweak the Environment”: When the situation changes, the behaviour changes. Take a good look at your environment, your workplace, your home and your car. Notice the things in your environment that help you relax, appreciate them and keep them. Then take a second to notice the things that make you feel stressed and look at how you can eliminate or tweak those.

Here are a few examples that work well for me:

• I got rid of the alarm sound that announces a new e-mail in my in-box. It helps me focus on my work and I now check e-mail when I choose to. 
• I turn my phone ringer on mute every night before I go to bed. I am never disturbed in my sleep and check my messages in the morning when it’s convenient.

5. “Build Habits”: When behaviour is habitual, it’s “free” – it doesn’t tax the Rider. Look for ways to encourage habits such as setting action triggers. Here are a few examples:

• A post-it note on your steering wheel that says “relax” or “breathe”
• A reminder in your Outlook calendar
• Associate a specific activity with taking Mini-Retreats  (e.g. taking a shower, eating, washing your hands).

6. “Rally the Herd”: Behaviour is contagious; help spread it. Take Mini-Retreats together with your partner, family and friends. When my partner John and I are halted by a red light, usually one of us suggests “time for a Mini-Retreat”. We both laugh, smile at each other and relax. When you turn chores into Mini-Retreats and relax while doing the dishes or folding the laundry, family members around you will notice your calm energy and it will impact them in a positive way. When you relax while spending time with your kids, they in turn will be more relaxed and less cranky.

Let’s spread the Mini-Retreat way of life!