I received so many heartfelt messages, in response to my latest SPARK newsletter. Thank you so much for your encouragement! It was especially nice to hear about the positive difference SPARK makes in so many readers lives. That is my intention!
We Canadians are known for being nice. One of my life coaching clients found herself in a situation where her usual way of being nice and doing things she thought were expected of her left her with a bitter taste of resentment. To her, being a good friend, colleague and relative meant being nice and doing what was expected of her at all times.
However, it dawned on her that her need to be nice got in the way of recognizing and attending to her own needs. She was so focused on pleasing those around her that she had lost touch with the things that mattered most to her. With each life coaching session, she gained more clarity on her own priorities and goals. She knew she couldn’t continue putting everyone else’s needs and requests above her own. She needed to learn how to set healthy boundaries.
Often we stand in our own way of achieving and receiving what we most want. This happens when we believe that what we most want is only available in a bundled up fashion with something we don’t want at all. So we take one step in the direction of our dream and then we get scared because we feel as if we are also moving closer to a nightmare. With this kind of self sabotaging behaviour we hamper our own success.
Take Jody (not her real name), one of my life coaching clients, who wanted to overcome procrastination and become more successful in her career. Every time she made some progress, got more organized, became more focused, she noticed how she would slip in other ways as if she was trying to sabotage her own progress. Jody became curious about this self sabotaging behaviour pattern and realized that even though she really wanted to be more successful in her career, she didn’t like the image of what success looked like in her field. All the so-called successful professionals in her field seemed arrogant, aggressive and distant. Jody realized that deep down she didn’t want to be successful out of a fear that she too might become arrogant, aggressive and distant.