Trust is an essential ingredient, when going through a career change. Yet it often seems out of reach, when we need it the most. Do you ever catch yourself, thinking up worst case scenarios and preparing your game plan? You are certainly not alone. When you do, you temporarily loose trust in things working out well. How can you find trust within when outside circumstances don’t seem to deserve your trust? It’s easier than you might think.
Last summer, one sunny Tuesday, I was expecting the first delivery of organic groceries that we had just ordered. When the groceries had not arrived by noon, I suddenly lost trust that they ever would. I thought about calling the organic delivery service the following day to resolve the undelivered food box mystery.
When I stepped out the door around 5 pm to go to a meeting that evening, I almost fell over the food box that was patiently waiting for me. I had been expecting the worst case scenario. Hence the food box on our door step was a big surprise to me.
I realized my lack of trust in the food box delivery service. Thanks to the timely delivery of the food box and to my mindfulness practice, I caught myself in the midst of my old story: “people don’t show up, don’t follow through, are unreliable…” I smiled at myself with compassion and put the fresh veggies and fruit in our fridge.
I refrained from judging myself and asked instead: “How can I grow trust from this insight?”
I decided to write a long list of gratitude for all the reliability I had recently experienced in my life. The list started with my dear husband, who always keeps his word. I gave thanks to the organic grocery service who delivered. I felt grateful for the many recent meetings I enjoyed as planned and on schedule. Finally I gave thanks to the natural rhythms that instill a sense of trust in me, such as as sunrise and sunset and the cyclical changing of the tides.
I noticed that there was a lot more follow through in my life than I was usually giving credit for. It is so easy for the mind to focus on scarcity and miss out on the abundance that we are surrounded by.
Lack of trust and worst case scenario thinking are wasting precious mental, physical, and emotional energy. Lack of trust is indeed a weed that strangles the beautiful flowers in the garden of your life. It keeps you stuck in a career and a life that doesn’t fit.
Becoming a conscious gardener of your life, takes awarenes, discipline and appreciation. We reap what we sew. Becoming aware of the seeds is the first step.
Here are 3 steps to build trust when ‘worst case scenario thinking’ kicks in:
- As soon as you notice ‘worst case scenario’ thinking, shift your body posture (e.g., from sitting to standing). Shifting your body, makes it easier to shift your thinking.
- Take a deep breath and embrace yourself in compassion and notice your old story. My old story was: “people don’t show up, don’t follow through, are unreliable…”
Listen to the thoughts in your mind, recogninze your own story and jot it down. Exposing old, limiting beliefs to the light of day, eliminates the power and control they have over you.
Just like the seeds of weeds, limiting beliefs germinate and grow in the darkness not when you dig them out and expose them to the light of day.
- Dwell in gratitude for things you can trust. Write them down and connect with the feelings of trust within you.
Trust that you can choose to grow from all experiences. Each experience can teach you something. When you follow these three simple steps, you grow trust and get unstuck. Indeed, you choose to take responsibility for all your life’s experiences.
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Julia James is a certified life coach and award-winning author of the book, The Mini-Retreat Solution. With over ten years experience coaching people through positive career transformations, Julia is passionate about helping people connect with their true calling.